S01 Episode 06: The Visionary Woman
Visionary women experience similar challenges. A visionary woman isn’t just a visionary in her business, she’s a visionary in her life. She often feels unseen, unheard, isolated and empty because visionaries are the people that others go to for help, support, and love.
So where does the visionary woman go to work out her worry? If you’re a woman with a big dream on her heart and you know that there’s so much more you want to do, but you feel frustrated and don’t know how to manifest it all – you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about it.
What you’ll find in this episode:
- What is a visionary woman?
- The day to day fussy stuff that keeps us small.
- Peter Senge – do we change our reality to achieve the vision, or do we lower that vision to accommodate a comfortable reality?
- Kris’s latest Hawaii retreat attendees.
- Stop wasting time around whether or not you should do it. Instead, focus on actually doing it!
Featured on the Show and Other Notes:
- The How to CEO program – 12 weeks of advising and coaching, all of the robust blueprint content, PLUS we complement everything with other special guest experts. So, if you are ready to join us, please go to howtoceoregister.com. You can learn all about it, and see all the things you need to see.
- Come connect with me on Instagram here or on Facebook here.
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Today is going to be juicy. We’re going to be talking about the visionary woman. Is that you? Let’s find out.
Well, hello. How are you? Thank you to my team for last week. For those of you who may not be on my mailing list, you may not know all the juicy details. But basically, what happened is I went to Hawaii and had an amazing time, which I will be talking about with you. And my 16 year old daughter, when I was supposed to come home, we found out she had tested positive for COVID. And she was symptomatic even though she’s been vaccinated. And my husband and my son and my daughter have all been in the same house. And the general consensus was, my husband was like, please don’t come home. I tend to be a little bit of a nervous nelly and I think he is much better at all of that part of parenting. And so he’s like, why don’t you just stay in Hawaii for a few more days?
We’re fine. And my daughter’s totally fine. She just had some few days of felt pretty bad, but fortunately mild. Anyway, so that preempted everything because I didn’t have equipment. I didn’t have, I just was a mess and I didn’t even have the brain capacity to really think about what to do. So my team stepped in and pulled something from the archives, which was brilliant and Michelle recorded the intro. And so anyway, I’m just so proud of my team and just so honored they pick me. So today I want to talk about the visionary woman. I’m going to give you as much backstory as I can here in every attempt to be fully transparent, which is what I ask of my clients. And so a couple of things, my business has grown exponentially over the past 18 months, which has been such a fun ride.
And the people that we work with are, I mean, the women are, I just, you know that feeling when you have a conversation with another woman and you’re just, you leave and you feel like you’re buzzing. That’s how I feel all the time. It doesn’t even, honestly, it doesn’t even feel right that this is my business, that I get to work with women like this every day. Because I just, it really, is this how you make a living? It just feels decadent. So the growth of the business has just added volumes of these women to my life and to my work and to my team and to what we do in the world. And so, as the growth has happened in the business, that’s meant my own growth as a leader. And I recognize I teach this, I also need to do the same thing.
So I continue to bring into our world trusted advisors, people that I know I can rely on. And when we were looking down the barrel of this growth, I had a conversation with Michelle and said, you know, there are things I don’t know how to do, but the one thing I do know how to do is lead a team. So what we’re going to do first is we’re going to lead our team. And we’re going to build the team that’s going to drive this result. And that’s exactly what we did. And so to the point where I, and I’ve talked to my clients about this, our profit margin has gone down. We’ve made some significant decisions in order to invest in team because the dream is in the team, mama. And I know that, and I know how to lead a team. So I wanted that part first. But there are other parts of my business that I know I need to get better at.
And one of them is marketing and it’s an ongoing thing. You know, I think I have a great message. I know what we do in our program is badassery and people are getting tremendous results from that experience. But figuring out the mechanics and best solutions for marketing. So we have just hired a fractional CMO, Laura Meyer to work with us. And we start that this week, which I’m super excited about. But she already started by giving me some things to think about. And the one question that she asked me a couple of weeks ago that just kind of went right between my eyes and it’s been so good for me is, “What do you want to be the best in the world at?” Now that question is obviously a very important one to answer, but isn’t easy.
So that question then brought me to my coaching call with Natalie, who’s my coach, Natalie Olson, who is amazing. And she really helps me with my spirit. I sought her out during COVID when I know that I just needed healing and help. And she has just been such a guardian angel to me. And so I brought that to her and I’m like, okay, I know that this growth of mine is really leading somewhere. And then of course she’s just really, really helped me. And so today we had a conversation and we talked about really what is it, what is the dream that is on my heart? And she said, “What do you want? What do you want?” And I said, “I want to sit on the beach with powerful women who are deep, wise, conscious, scared, and vulnerable. And I want to help peel back who they are so they can be amazingly.”
“I want to be where visionary women who have huge, big dreams on their heart come to transform themselves so they can achieve what they want.” That’s what I want. And so we ended up having this whole conversation about how the women that I work with are visionary. And ultimately the work is allowing, is creating space for that visionary. Because a lot of women who are visionaries, which is what I want to kind of ask you all to think about, share similar challenges. Visionary women are big. Visionary women struggle with girlfriend relationships. They’re very strong and perceived as strong by others. Visionary women believe in and are invested in transformation, both theirs and whatever it is that vision cause them to do. They’re very powerful. But I know that visionary women can often feel unseen and unheard and that they can feel empty because visionary women take up a lot of space and they are the people that other women go to for help, for support, for love.
It’s like I’ve said so often, right, where do you go to work out your worry? Because a visionary woman isn’t just a visionary in her business, she’s a visionary in her life. And my clients who I’ve worked with who have really, really thrived are the women who had a vision on their heart that was outside of who they were. But what they all shared in common was this throttle when it comes to magnifying the vision through others, i.e. the team. So often they come to me and say, I want to do this thing in the world. I’m big. I have this big thing I want to do in the world, but how do I hire an office manager? I’m never going to get there if I can’t just figure out how to hire people. If I can’t fire people, if I’m too much of a people pleaser, if I can’t hold my boundaries, if I’m so exhausted all the time, if I’m working all the time, how am I going to get that to happen in the world?
I just had this conversation on my blueprint call, just now. Beautiful, beautiful woman with a beautiful business said, “Should I just stop and not have a team and just do it by myself?” This is the question of all of us. We’ve all asked that question. And the way to answer isn’t yes or no. It’s, I don’t know. What does the vision say? What does the vision that you were given, it’s yours, it doesn’t belong to anybody else but you, what does the vision say? Is it time to quit? Is it time to say we’re going to stay small? I told her about Peter Senge. This was a model I learned years ago. That we either do one of two things. We have this big vision and we change our reality to achieve the vision, or we lower that vision to accommodate a comfortable reality. Which one? The women I know that want to work with me, who end up in our program, they choose I’m going to change this reality man, to make that vision happen.
Because I can’t live, I can’t function in this world if I don’t make that vision happen. I am called to do it. And so the thing that we all share is that challenge of how do people hear me? How do I get them to understand? How do I make people do their job? How do I have to stop doing all this junk, this day to day, this fussy stuff that keeps me small when I have so much I want to put in the world? Oh, and also, by the way, visionary woman, how do you transform into the woman who achieves the vision? How will the world change once you have? Because you know the vision that we have for our business is to prove the power of one thriving woman, to prove the power of one thriving, visionary woman.
When a visionary woman thrives, the planet moves. Do you believe me? Because I see it. So we just did our Hawaii retreat. 12 women, gorgeous human, amazing perfect, stunning women from everywhere and anything. I think we only had one set of duplicate states and the duplicates were me and one other gal from San Diego. So we were all from California. Everybody else was from all over the country. We have a woman who co owns a business in finance with her husband, digital marketing, insurance, coaching and online sales, construction, real estate, assisted living, fulfillment and distribution, a physician, a floral and wedding planner, an interior designer, and a food service retail shop. I think a lot of us now because of who we are as a society and the way that we’ve all become so indoctrinated in social media, we think of visionaries as these people with huge presences online. They’re influencers.
And while sure those people can have huge visions, that’s fine. I don’t necessarily just work with those clients. I work with women that you’re never going to know. You see them on the street, you wouldn’t know that she’s running a $55 million business, and she’s donating millions of it to causes to support other women. But she knows. And that’s why she does it. So all of these women come to Hawaii to convene with me on the beach, literally, or in the woods, gorgeous woods that felt like we were in the fairy dust land. If you don’t follow my Instagram, you should. Because we posted some pictures there, @krisplachycoach. And the conversations everybody comes thinking, okay, I’m going to talk about how to be a better leader. [inaudible 00:10:51] want to talk about. And what we realize is where everybody has little prickly spots of vulnerability, of doubt, of lack, of denying themselves worthiness and practicing self-worth, indulging guilt and shame, indulging embarrassment at their own success.
But then you come and they’re all together and it’s so powerful to watch these collective 12 women visionaries see in one another what they experience in themselves and how they shine with each other. They have permission with each other to be who they are. And one of my clients, Rebecca and I were talking about how it is hard to meet women. All of us shared that, that we struggle to find close girlfriends. And what was so great about this retreat and this experience was it takes months to get to know another woman that you might meet through a kid or an event in your community or you might meet them and you think, oh you’re nice, that’s cool, let’s get a class of wine. Let’s get to know each other. It takes forever to really realize and see who they are. At this retreat, we skipped all that.
And these women were able to see each other immediately and they fell in love with each other. When you think about women being visionaries in the collective way that we are now, this is new. We’re in the first century of this work, you all. Sure have there been women leaders and visionaries throughout history? Yes, but not en masse. We are pioneers in new territory. There are a lot of us, but we haven’t coalesced yet. We are in pockets.
But for the most part, most women who are visionaries are isolated. And many of us think that the problems we experience are unique and also sort of make us wrong. So if you’re a woman with a big dream on her heart and you know that there’s so much more you want to do, but you don’t know how to manifest all that you have been informed that you want to achieve, you don’t know how to make that happen in the world because you’re frustrated that Joyce in accounting doesn’t process the payroll timely or that you can’t find a good front office manager or you can’t find someone to sell for you or you can’t even find assistant for heaven’s sake, right?
I get the frustration of that. And then I also know the spiral that that creates. How is it that I could run a five, eight, 10, 12 million dollar business, but I can’t figure out how to fire someone? It’s such a weird juxtaposition. And it seems like such an odd space for me to sit with you all. But the truth is that is so revealing. And within 25 seconds, I can tell you everything I need to know about you. I can figure out where your instability is. I can tune into you because I get you.
I get visionary. I understand the visionary. I know how much you want to be understood. I know how often you don’t feel understood. I know how often you feel simultaneously capable and unstoppable and insecure and vulnerable and scared. So I wanted to make this podcast because first of all, I wanted to give voice to this. I just don’t think we talk about it enough. Again, I feel like there’s lots of conversations about how to make money and how to build a business and how to scale and how to do all the things, which is fabulous. Get it, do it all, make it all, have a blast. But there is a moment where you all look at yourselves in the mirror and you say, who the hell am I and how am I going to get there? How am I going to make that happen? Why am I doing this?
Is this even what I want? And what do I tell myself on a regular basis that is just exhausting and I’m done with it and I’m ready to change my story. You are special and unique and different. You were given this dream. You were kissed with it for a reason. And I do think that oftentimes it takes a long time to realize itself. So I will tell you that, I know I’ve mentioned this on my podcast before, in the spirit of reinvention. Years ago I had this vision of starting a retreat in Hawaii, doing a retreat at the beach with other women. And I sat at my old desktop computer and I figured out how to make a website on some dumb platform. And I made this whole website and I created what the details of the retreat would be. And it was very much like what I do now, frankly, which is so interesting.
And this was at least 14 years ago and, 15. And I saw that on the website you could put music on it, which I just thought was so cool that you could have music when you open up a website. And there’s a song that’s a favorite of mine. It’s by James Taylor and it’s called Like Everyone She Knows. It’s a beautiful song. If you haven’t listened to it, download it and just listen. It’s a beautiful song, for women. It’s a beautiful song. I think it’s a beautiful, my husband loves it. It’s James Taylor. How can you not? And while that idea, that website, that whole thing never happened. My God, I don’t know whatever happened to that website. I didn’t do a Hawaii retreat until six years later. This year, I just did this Hawaii retreat, and I made a video for all of my clients, just capturing all the different moments.
It was beautiful, fun, creative space for me. And I set it to, Like Everyone She Knows by James [inaudible 00:16:24]. That dream was put on my heart 15 years ago. It took that long to get here. So we can’t be in a hurry. And we can’t judge the journey and use it as a reason to quit. And for whatever reason, I never quit this Hawaii dream. And there were years where I would put out there, I was going to do this retreat and it would take me nine months to get six people to come. And that’s when I was charging like $900. This year it sold out in four days and it was $4,200. It took a while, but I never stopped. Because the work of this experience is on my heart. I know I have to do it, for them and for me.
What is that for you? And are you willing to walk through the fire to make it happen, to walk through what’s difficult? Do you need a space where that can be honored, where other people will understand you? I think we all do. So if you’re a visionary woman, I would just ask you, where do you go to work through your worry? And I would like to remind you that worth is not an external qualifier. There is nothing that makes you worthy. You are alive and breathing, therefore you are worthy. No amount of money, status, stature, success, beauty, makes you more or less worthy of that gorgeous vision.
And I will leave you with one other thought, which is that I oftentimes hear people say, who am I to think I could, and then you insert your vision. Change the world through education. Help women feel more empowered by taking care of their body. Change the way that relationships work. Whatever it is, whatever that is in your heart, that vision, you wouldn’t have it if you weren’t here to contribute. So let’s stop wasting the time around whether or not you should do it and let’s focus instead on I’m going to do it. And I’m going to be willing to invest in myself so that I can become the woman who delivers in a way that feels authentic and genuine for me. What do you think about that? I always love to know what your thoughts are. You can ping me on Instagram. You can send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for spending time with me today. Talk to you again soon.