Question: I had a difficult employee resign but now she’s begging to stay so what do I do?
She is suffering and that is not your fault.
I will never tell you what to do on this one, but all you can do is know what you are engaging in.
We have a line here in the Lab that I bring up occasionally and it’s the question of “Do you want to keep paying me to talk about her?“
I mean listen, we can talk about her all day if you want.
But here’s the truth – every time you get coached, you are reinvesting in this story. If she stays, you have to love your reason.
What I heard you say is the reason you would say yes to her staying is because you don’t have anyone else yet. Does that make you feel good? Why? I will tell you that in the world of people changing and becoming new people, the odds are slim that she will change, especially when you are dealing with someone struggling with addiction.
You are not talking to her, you are talking to an illness. She means well.
If your morals tell you that you should help her, give her some money, buy her groceries.
Don’t use your company to support her.
Your company’s job is not to be a non-profit for recovering addicts.
If you as a person want to do something for her, do that. But don’t tangle them and make her work to do it. Just give her money and say goodbye.
I don’t loan people money, I only give it to them. I don’t want to worry about them paying me back. I give it without expectation.
The business’s job is not to take care of her. If someone needs help, you can decide to help them.
It’s not “I should help them”.
It seems to me you have been helping her for 25 years and it’s not really helping her, so that’s all just a story that you’ve been nurturing.
Not because you are bad, it’s just a classic example of enabling, but you are using your business to do it.
Telling the truth and acting on it is incredibly hard but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.