Challenge: I have general anxiety about being a boss and still worry about what people will think to the extent it keeps me from fully communicating my expectations, even when they aren’t meeting them.
Coach Response: You are NOT alone. But you need to tell yourself the truth. What are you afraid of? What do you make that mean?
Ultimately, you are giving someone power and authority over your business success. Once you tell yourself the truth, you are then doing it consciously which is even more uncomfortable. Where does your team’s happiness come from? Themselves. Don’t take responsibility for it. We see this with parenting. One of the best things we can do is pursue our own happiness and model that for our own children. In order to do that, you need to decide that you have boundaries. This is harder in a family, but one of the best ways to learn and practice is in your business.
This is your business and when you put yourself in a position where you feel that you are dependent on someone, you have completely disempowered yourself. No wonder you feel like ass. Your strength comes from your decision to believe that no matter who it is, you can be a successful business owner without them. Your dependency on them will make you continue to tolerate and accept what is unacceptable behavior from a team member. You seeking comfort isn’t where we want to go. Instead, we want to put into place clear expectations on them without attaching yourself to their outcome.
This work is a commitment to yourself first. It doesn’t mean you have to yell, be mean, or fight back. Those behaviors are not who you are. You can hold an expectation and sit with their reply. You are incredibly capable. You do not need people who don’t uphold your values. You should be surrounded by people as beautiful and amazing as you are. So, instead of telling yourself you are bad at this and it makes you anxious, just change it subtly. Tell yourself you are in the process of learning how to lead differently.
It’s all solvable but you are going to have to make some decisions you are not comfortable with. You will be growing and you will make more money, so that’s what matters.
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