I am not used to having space

We pull real conversations with real women figuring out How to CEO everyday.
This week…


Challenge: The past few weeks have been a lot. I just finished everyone’s annual review, got an offer out to a big recruit, my husband had eye surgery yesterday and now it’s kind of a quiet period. There is an element that there is a lot to be done but I feel out of capacity emotionally. I am not used to having space.


Coach Response:  I think about a mountain and there are always these really awful parts you climb and then you get to a plateau. I think it’s OK to say that you are a little depleted. Trying to ignore it doesn’t allow it to resolve. Instead, you carry it bigger. We all have beliefs that things are so important that we can’t say no but it doesn’t mean that we can’t reschedule. Think about what’s most urgent to give your attention to and allow yourself to think about the rest next week. Make a list of things you agree to think about later and not today. We know you will feel better in a few days. Today is not the day you will figure out anything heavy.You don’t have to do everything we talk about here yourself. You just want to make sure it exists. Often we dismiss how we can leverage support. Your immediate thought is “I” need to do this. Instead, ask yourself who or what support could look like vs. you doing it all. Could you sit with someone who could listen to you and write everything down? There is no race here, there is no hurry. I often think that there is a reason why I haven’t done certain things yet. It wasn’t compelling or I don’t have everything I need to know and there is something else coming that will reveal itself to me. That often ends up proving itself true.


What do you want to do with this space? It’s an interesting thing that we feel like we need to fill everything. Why not just sit and stare into space. Listen to podcasts, write, go for a walk, or take a longer lunch. As we get older, we have lived lives that are so reactive. I see this so chronically with women and then as we get into our 50’s, we question who we are because there is nothing to react to anymore. So when you have time that isn’t planned, we don’t know what to do with it. That’s where we learn who we are and what we want to do. Instead of making it mean that we need to pay attention to ourselves and we don’t like that, we fill it with other things instead to avoid that. You have worked hard and I think it’s OK to tell yourself that and you deserve to have some space. I think you are doing exactly what your spirit is calling you to do and that’s just to take care of yourself for a little bit. You’ve been nurturing, building and supporting in a lot of other directions and that is depleting.


No expectations for the rest of the day, go be with your patients and family. The rest will be there later.

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