The power of showing up, rather than serving in sacrifice, cannot be overstated. When we commit, when we are there, even when no one else is, a superpower is released that often comes in no other way. In this episode, I talk with Bernadette Doyle, owner and CEO of Bernadette Doyle.com about the superpower of…

EP #7

S03 Episode 7: A Conversation with Bernadette Doyle


The power of showing up, rather than serving in sacrifice, cannot be overstated. When we commit, when we are there, even when no one else is, a superpower is released that often comes in no other way.

In this episode, I talk with Bernadette Doyle, owner and CEO of Bernadette Doyle.com about the superpower of showing up. Throughout our conversation, we discuss feminine leadership, thriving through the unknown, the disservice of sacrifice in business, and much more. I hope you receive a fresh perspective on the magic of committing to, and trusting, yourself.

“There is nothing, in my experience, that trumps that energy of just showing up, committed. I’m committed to serve. I’m here and I’m showing up, even if… you know, you do a Facebook live and you can see you might have no one on with you. But you just show up and you just give it your all anyway. And I think that is the powerpower.” – Bernadette Doyle

What You’ll Learn

  • Thriving during the unknown
  • Relaxing into tough conversations
  • Embracing the feminine model of leadership
  • The superpower of committing
  • The disservice of sacrifice in business
  • Facilitating mental work
  • Recognizing existing support

Meet Bernadette Doyle

Bernadette Doyle has been helping coaches, consultants, trainers and therapists to get more clients organically for over 20 years. She is known for her down-to-earth, practical strategies that help her clients get results fast. Many of them are landing new clients within 48 hours following her approach. She gets a thrill from showing a simple path to 100k without complicated sales funnels, tech or constant launching. Having previously headed a 7-figure business with lots of complexity and moving parts, simplicity is now a core value. Embracing simplicity has allowed her space to run a multi-6 figure business from home, working less than 20 hours a week, so she has time for her passions of hot yoga and hiking.

Contact Info and Recommended Resources

Connect with Bernadette Doyle

Connect with Kris Plachy

I love and appreciate reviews from my listeners on iTunes. Would you do me the favor and take a few moments to write one today?

Kris Plachy: Welcome to Season Three of the Leadership is Feminine podcast. I’m Kris Plachy, and I’m so happy that you’re here. In this season, we’re doing something different. One of the things that I believe to be true is that there is so much unsourced beautiful wisdom in the everyday person. I really like to talk about what I call obscure wisdom. That means these are things that people know, that unless we meet them at a cocktail party, or at a barbecue, or sitting next to them on a train, we don’t hear about it.

And these aren’t celebrities, these aren’t people who’ve written bestselling books yet, these aren’t people that are on the circuit that everybody else is learning from. These are everyday women, who are CEOs, building, dealing with, working through all the pieces and parts of running a company. And I want to bring my beautiful clients, and their wisdom to your ears, because I know that you’ll find it to be validating, and insightful, and hopefully also some fun. So, without further ado, let’s get started with this week’s amazing personal client and guest on Leadership is Feminine.

Okay, everyone, welcome, welcome, I’m so happy that Bernadette Doyle is here with me, Bernadette and I work together—you were just saying, it’s been about a year ago now through the How to CEO program. She was one of our star clients who came to all the calls and did all the work, and did a lot of heavy lifting when we were working together. So, I was so excited that you said yes and wanted to be on the podcast, so I’m thrilled you’re here today. So welcome, and while I turn it over to you, why don’t you tell us who you are, what you do, and what the magic is that you bring into the world?

Bernadette Doyle: Okay. Well, I am Bernadette Doyle, I’m here in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Not originally from here, I actually grew up in Oxford, in England. And my business, I started 26 years ago this year.

Kris Plachy: That is amazing.

Bernadette Doyle: I started out selling sales training to corporate clients, and then it evolved into working with service providers, self-employed service providers. So, like coaches, consultants, really helping them to get clients, and showing them how I got my business established. And then about—well, it must have been about 18 years ago, then I moved online, and I started selling information products online.

And then that’s now evolved into an online coaching business. So, I still work with the same type of person, so, someone who has an expertise that they share with clients, and they want to know how to get more clients. In a nutshell, I had helped people get clients and make money.

Kris Plachy: That’s not a bad thing to do in the world.

Bernadette Doyle: It’s a good thing to do in the world.

Kris Plachy: It’s a really good thing. How has the last couple of years been, I’m curious, with COVID and…?

Bernadette Doyle: So, it’s funny, when COVID came along, what I most remember was like this feeling of its show time, and I was like, ‘Game on.” And I knew that I really wanted to leave my people who were like, a lot of people getting into fear about what would happen, this fear of unknown, and what’s this new world that we’re entering into? And I was almost like, it was like I was making a call, I did Facebook lives, and I was like, ‘This is the moment of opportunity, if you keep your head, and you stay focused, you’re going to thrive through this. And I created a program, we called Plan B, and it was a 30-day program.

Kris Plachy: That’s awesome.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah. And we did it in April 2020, and it was really just about helping people to essentially keep focused and keep enrolling during the pandemic. And it was amazing, like I had client, one client came in and did 40,000 in sales that month. So, that was 40,000 British, so that would be maybe like 60 or $70,000. And so many clients that like it became the best month ever, and it was just a case of just really keeping them focused on the right things. Just handling the fear that was coming up for everyone, so that was fun.

Kris Plachy: I have to say, I had a similar experience to you, and there were a few of us who got together on like March 12th or 13th 2020. We really had that conversation like, okay, this is what I’ve been preparing for, like really. And in my experience having worked in leadership, coaching and development, I had all these tools for change and ambiguity, and how to lead when you don’t know where you’re going.

And so, I actually created a program in April that I called Leading Through Crazy, which is so funny. And yeah, and some of the people that did that became some of the best clients I’ve ever had, and have done really, really well, but it was, people were really, really—all of us were soul searching, we were so…. And we were all, I think we all found an Achilles’ moment for ourselves that we all had to get other support for, that maybe we hadn’t really done in the past, right? That’s certainly what happened for me. But it was good, it was a good time, and it was a good time to be prepared. So, I have a question, 26 years?

Bernadette Doyle: I know. It’s finally off, I was a [inaudible 05:41].

Kris Plachy: I know, you must’ve been taught when you started, right? Reselling Legos. But what do you think is, I was just coaching someone, right? Now, just right before this call, for this recording. And she said, “I have to get out of the cycle of am I going to keep doing this? Should I just walk away? Should I just quit?” Because she’s so exhausted. So many of the elements of running a business, I’m just kind of curious, what is your secret sauce that keeps you going?

Bernadette Doyle: Although I’ve been in business for 26 years, and I’ve always been working in the area of sales and help people get new clients. But there’s also been a lot of variety in that. And it’s normally been led by what my clients tell me they want. So, for example, when I started really getting into online, I had an email list, and I was sending out a newsletter when no one was sending out a newsletter. When you said, “Oh, I’ve got a free newsletter,” people were like, ‘Wow! Sign me up.” Those were the early days.

And then I have clients who saw me doing that, and they’re like okay, can you teach me how to do what you’re doing? And so then I was like okay, I’ll teach you how to set up an email list, and I’ll teach you how to create products that you can sell online. And then, like there’s always something new to learn. So, I remember it was probably about 15 years ago, I got really into selling from webinars, and using webinars as a sales tool. And more recently it’s been around Facebook lives. So, I always feel that there’s something new for me to learn. And I think that’s what keeps it interesting for me.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, and it sounds like because you sort of have this natural interest, and then you learn it, and then you extend that learning and teach it, right? So, you learn it, make it yours, and then sell it, right? As part of your services, so that’s pretty cool.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah.

Kris Plachy: That’s a true entrepreneurial spirit, right? I’ve often had people ask me, “Would you ever go back to a corporate?” Like if someone offered you a really good CEO position or something, would you go back? And there is no way, ever.

Kris Plachy: I don’t actually think they’d have me, I think…

Kris Plachy: I have said the same thing, I think I’m unemployable at this point, yeah.

Bernadette Doyle: So I am.

Kris Plachy: We work in strange weird hours and so forth. Okay, so another question I have for you, that I’ve asked a few of the other women that have been on the podcast so far, is really kind of that, we’re spilling the tea a little, right? We’re talking a little bit about things that people don’t talk about. And I remember when I was pregnant, I remember realizing, there’s a lot of things that people don’t tell you about being pregnant. That once you go through it and you say these things out loud, other people are like, “Oh yeah, me too.” I’m like, why don’t we talk about this part? We only talk about this part, right? The fun part. So, I’m kind of curious what you think is something that other women as CEOs do wrangle or work through, that we don’t talk about that much?

Bernadette Doyle: We do talk about it in your world, but it wasn’t until I came into your world that I really got a sense of how much the things that I struggled with around team and people management, that I actually had a lot of shame about, so, I didn’t want to talk to anybody about it. I didn’t realize until I was in your world, just how many other women were dealing with that as well. Because I think for me, looking back, there was a lot of people-pleasing, a lot of avoiding confrontation, I’m going right back to very early in my business. Just to have the conversation of having to let someone go, it was just excruciating, because I had so many thoughts around it.

And what I loved about being in your program, was from day one, I don’t remember you ever saying this explicitly, but to me, you just exuded, there’s no people problem that I either haven’t dealt with, or that we can’t deal with. I’ve got to feel my nervous system settled down in your presence. All this drama, all the stories I’ve got about what’s happened, and what I think I can or can’t do, it’s like, you were just like, “We’ve got this.”

Kris Plachy: We’ve got it.

Bernadette Doyle: Right.

Kris Plachy: Yeah. Do you have an Olivia Pope moment? Do you know who Olivia Pope is?

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, it’s Scandal.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, Scandal, it’s is just Scandal. I love that, I love her, I love her suits, everything about her. She has great wine glasses.

Bernadette Doyle: I loved the early series of Scandal, it just got silly.

Kris Plachy: It got dumb; I agree. But the first couple of seasons were amazing and inspiring, yes, I loved her. Okay, well, that’s really, really powerful, because I’ve heard a lot of other women say, and it’s interesting, because we were talking right before we started the recording, that there was a time when you used to come to the states a lot, and you were a part of masterminds.

And I know, even when I met Allie Brown for the first time, and I hired her, and I did a VIP Day with her, and I was explaining to her what I do, and she was like, “Wait, what? Like people do that?” Like, she didn’t know either, because it’s like we get into these masterminds to grow our business, but there’s this part that’s never talked about, and if team is talked about, it’s talked about in a very cursory kind of way, and not really in that— because I think it’s such a soul work hiring people.

Bernadette Doyle: I must tell you about the first mastermind I was in, and it was run by a guy called Yanik Silver. And there’s a lot of people that have gone on to be massive digital marketers, like Ryan Deiss and Perry Belcher, they were in the group as well. It was very male dominated, and for me, even to get to this meeting was massive, because my kids at the time, I think were maybe like one and two, and I had to arrange a family member to come and stay, and I’d go over, and would love the fact that I could just sit on the plane and have a glass of wine because they had butlers.

Anyway, at one of these meetings, I was celebrating, because I’d finally—I’m single—and I finally got myself a live-in nanny/housekeeper. And I was saying to the guys in this group, I’m like, “This has just been a complete game changer for me, as like there’s a portion of my brain that no longer needs to worry, is there milk? Is the laundry done? Is food in the fridge? Dinner is on the table?” Like this has just transformed. All of my brain that was worried about that, I’m now able to put into my business. And the room went silent, and the guys were like, looking like this at me. And then one of them pipes up, “But Bernadette, we’ve all got one of those, it’s called a wife.”

Kris Plachy: Oh goodness!

Bernadette Doyle: But that’s how it was, and I think that’s how it is for women running business. And so, I’m talking there about like domestic help. But I remember those meetings, it’s like, I couldn’t get the help that I got in your program at those masterminds. Because if I was trying to say, well, I’ve got this situation with this person that isn’t quite right, but I love her, and we’re friends, and how could I possibly say to her, you know, this is working out, and I think you need to go and do this. And they would just like. “Woman… emotional…”

Kris Plachy: Right.

Bernadette Doyle: Like, let’s just talk about [inaudible 13:21] rights. [Laughter]

Kris Plachy: Oh, that’s where the acronym start. And I’m like in a room, I’m like with my phone, like, what is this acronym? I don’t know what anything means. Somebody just said something on a call the other day, I’m like, “I don’t know.” [Laughter] But listen, if you need a fire your best friend, I’m your girl. Anyway, I love that you said that. You know, it’s interesting, I was talking to a girlfriend this morning, and I don’t really know what’s happening in my brain, but I’ve been at this for so long, just like we all, right? We all have our discipline that I’ve studied this for so long.

And ironically, a lot of my philosophy is getting a little evolve—it’s getting evolved, and that’s good, but it’s almost like becoming a little oxymoronic. Like, I’m having these contrarian thoughts to things I’ve thought a long time. And that’s because I’ve been leaning so much into this idea that leadership is feminine. And not having that really cultivated in terms of definition. But I am very called to really notice that even a lot of the systems that I teach are rooted in male and masculine models.

And I think I’ve done a pretty good job at trying to integrate feminine qualities and skillsets into it, but it’s still rooted in something that I’m working on. So, I echo your life experience and I feel like this is just something that will just keep growing and growing. I can’t imagine ever not doing it. And that’s super fun, once you don’t ever entertain quitting.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah.

Kris Plachy: You just [inaudible 15:04] on the table, like, oh, it’s just something else I need to figure out, something else I’ll try, right? I’m kind of curious, because you work in helping people sell and increase revenue through clients, what is it? What do you think is like a superpower that helps people be better at that, or more successful at that, or more effective at that over time than maybe others?

Bernadette Doyle: Something I’ve been talking to my clients about a lot recently, is the energy and how they show up. And being willing to show up before the clients ever show up. A story I share with them, is something that I witnessed, I was on holiday in a place in Lanzarote, its called Club La Santa. And I think probably the closest thing would be something like Club Med for you guys.

Kris Plachy: Where was it did you say?

Bernadette Doyle: Club La Santa, it’s in Lanzarote in the Canary Islands.

Kris Plachy: Lanzarote.

Bernadette Doyle: But they used to do lots of activities, and there’d been a party the night before, and I was down by the pool, and there was an aqua aerobics class scheduled, for, I think it was around noon. And I was like, “I don’t think she’s going to get any takers for this class today,” because I saw what was going on last night, observing clearly—wasn’t involved.

Kris Plachy: Of course, you were not participating.

Bernadette Doyle: No. And so at 12 o’clock, I saw her walk over to her music station, I thought, well, she’s packing up to go now, because no one’s shown up to the class. And to my surprise, she took off her tracksuit bottoms, she put the music on, she went to stand by the pool, and she started to do the motions, and started calling out to an empty pool, she was calling out the aerobics class. And at first, I was in excruciating embarrassment for her, because I’m like, “That’s just awful.”

And then, I was like, “Actually, no, this is really cool,” like she is scheduled to give this class, and she’s not making showing up dependent upon whether there are people in the pool, she’s going to do the class no matter what. And after a few minutes, some people sort of got into the pool, by the end of the class, the pool was full with the people doing the class with her.

And I use that as an example with my clients, because it’s like, I tell them, it’s not just having a great message, or doing enough prospecting, or being great at converting, interest into paying business. Yeah, those are all skills that you can learn, but there is nothing in my experience that trumps that energy of just showing up committed, I’m committed to serve, I’m here, and I’m showing up, even if no one’s online. So, it’s like, if you’re going to do a Facebook live. But then you do a Facebook live, and you can see, you might have no one on with you, but you just show up, and you just give it your all anyway. And I think that is the superpower.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, it’s a commitment to yourself above anything really, right? Because that’s the commitment ultimately, is, I’ve decided to show up, and I’m going to show up. I love that, I love that. Because I think there’s a lot of people… I had this flashback while you were talking. I went to, you know, like, motivational speaker thing, when I used to have a job-job. And the guy was standing at the front of the room, and he was doing an experiment that I thought I had figured out, right?

And he said, he held up a $10 bill, or $1 bill or something, and said, “Who wants this?” So, in a room of like 150 people, I got up and walked up the aisle to get it. And he looked at me—because I was crazy, he was like, “What are you doing?” And I literally shrunk away in total shame. And of course, that was the whole point, and he ended up giving it to the second person who got up and took it.

But that commitment to yourself before what you think others will think of you, right? You know, being an entrepreneur is really living on the thin side of a knife plate. You have to be willing to believe in what you think the world needs. Much more than anybody else does, if you’re going to be able to get and convince others and persuade others and influence others that they need it, want it, so I love that. I think there’s a lot of truth to that just in general, like, do you commit to yourself first?

Bernadette Doyle: Well, you do a lot of retreats, and I’m sure like when you’re negotiating with hotels or whatever, there’s a point where they’re like, “Okay, you need to make a deposit now, you need to place a deposit, this is holding the space.” And it’s like, that’s the moment you know when I’m in, it on…

Kris Plachy: I’m going all in.

Bernadette Doyle: I’ve worked with clients who were trying to fill retreat. I mean, it’s a lot easier now, doing things virtually. But when they were doing events and conference, and they were like, well, I’m not going to make the deposit, because I haven’t had a booking yet. And I’m like, it doesn’t work like that, you’re not going to get a booking until you make the deposit.

Kris Plachy: That’s so interesting. Yeah, and the retreats are a great example, because I’ve been doing those for over 10 years, this will be my 10th year. And I was just telling someone this the other day; it used to take me almost a year to fill one retreat with like 6 people. And I did it every year, one year, maybe three people, another year, maybe seven. And I just was so committed, I’ve been so committed. And so, it’s so cool, because this year I’m doing actually four.

But the commitment, that like this is on my heart, and I’m going to do this. I’ve gotten so much brush back, “Why is it always in Hawaii? Why is it going to be so far away? I can’t go to Hawaii without my husband. I can’t go to Hawaii without my family,” all the things. I’m like, “Listen, this is where you have to go if you want to work with me here.” So, commitment to yourself. I love it. And for women who are CEOs, I feel like that’s even more important to remember, like, do you keep and honor, not just in sales, but do you keep and honor your own commitments to yourself?

Bernadette Doyle: Well, going back to your story about the dollar, when he looked at you, and like, “What are you doing?” And you felt all that shame, and it’s like, I think as women in particular, we have so much conditioning around other people’s opinions of us, much more than men, I think. And I know for me personally, I’ve had to shed a lot of that in my entrepreneurial journey.

Kris Plachy: It’s hard to survive if you don’t.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah.

Kris Plachy: So, there’s less levels of shame, it’s like, “Oh good, I got through that one,” like that one I would pass with flying colors now, but then there’s, we just keep sort of as we grow and expand, we have new levels of vulnerability, I suppose, is the way that I can say.

Kris Plachy: New level, new devil

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, always new.

Kris Plachy: So, here you are running this beautiful business, what would you say is really the most potent and powerful leadership lesson you’ve learned?

Bernadette Doyle: I’m not… I was about to say, is it leadership? But yes, it is. And actually, this has happened and really consolidated since I did your program, which is, I’m just now really clear that my life has to come first and my business fits in around my life. So, I walk daily now. I’ve got lovely woods there in my home, and that comes first, that’s before anything. I go and do hot yoga, which was something I always used to love, but I had some stories, like, “It’s too time consuming, I cannot do it. It messed up my hair, and I won’t have the tine to blow dry it,” and all these things.

And then I just got really clear last year, and I’m like, I’m sorry, I’m just not doing business unless I get to do it really on my terms. I think that is leadership, first of all, just muddling that. But also like having that in my business, that my team understand that. And actually, I value it for them too, I don’t want anybody in the business who’s like in sacrifice.

Kris Plachy: Ooh! That was well said, “I don’t want anybody in the business who’s in sacrifice.” That’s powerful.

Bernadette Doyle: It’s not good for businesses, is it? If someone’s getting the job done, but they’re doing it with an energy of resentment, or just sort of unhappiness. I think energy is really powerful, and I think it does play out. And I actually think clients are more sensitive to it now. I think that you might’ve be able to get away with that 10 or 15 years ago, but I think clients really can, they sense it if a business is unhappy.

Kris Plachy: Well, there’s plenty of examples of that, I’m sure you see them, right? Lots of businesses that look really happy, but don’t operate very happy, right?

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah.

Kris Plachy: And I would agree, I think that there’s so much more transparency today, that that gets harder and harder to pretend. And I hope that there’s—this is another conversation that we’ve been having is—there’s always been so much attention on helping people who lead to be better, right? So that employees and team members have a better experience.

But I also think that team members are starting to become more aware of their own expectations for what they want, and so, I do think we’re in a little bit of a revolution here, as to what work looks like. And what I love about what you said, is so many women start businesses because they want to have time, they want to have freedom, they want to have the luxury of a flexible schedule.

A1nd then we start these businesses and put ourselves into these jobs that we’re working 12 hours a day. Then once that starts, it gets very hard to pry people away. I know one of the things that I struggle with, or I struggled to help my clients understand is, it’s really not that big of a deal if it’s not done today. Like, unless there’s dying babies, this was something that my former colleague and I used to say like, really, it can wait till tomorrow. Your health, your time, your life is much more valuable. I love that you do hot yoga, do you do bit crumb, or do you just do like a hot yoga?

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, the studio I go to, they do have a couple of bit crumb classes, but they call it 26+2 now, because he’s been discredited, hasn’t he?

Kris Plachy: Oh, well, I don’t know the rules.

Bernadette Doyle: Oh well, go check, there’s a Netflix documentary, very interesting.

Kris Plachy: Oh, interesting.

Bernadette Doyle: But I really like the Vinyasa. I really like the Vinyasa flow. I’ve really been hooked on that.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, bit crumb is a little… I did one bit crumb for a while, one studio, and she wasn’t nice, the person who led it, it was very intense, and weren’t allowed to leave the room, and it was scary.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, that sounds scary.

Kris Plachy: I know. But I’ve had such pandemic fear, that I haven’t been able to get myself into a yoga studio, and I would love to, but I just… the sweaty bodies, I don’t know, I’m having… It’s like germaphobia, it’s not a good thing. And there’s always a guy, there’s always a sweaty guy. No offence to the sweaty guys, but you know what I’m talking about? There’s always…

Anyway, okay, back on task. So, you were in the How to CEO program, you did a lot of really great things when we were doing our work together, and I am kind of curious what sort of was the lasting piece for you out of that, that you’ve integrated into your business, that you’ve been able to apply over and over and again, whether it’s wisdom, or an actual practice.

Bernadette Doyle: We started using SweetProcess tool and it’s been amazing. And now to get to the point where my assistant is, I was really involved in it, setting it up. But now that she is like creating processes, she’s about to go on maternity leave and is training up someone to step in. And I haven’t had to have any involvement in that at all, because it’s just all there, it’s documented. So, that’s been incredible.

Kris Plachy: That’s so good. And I want to echo what you said, because you said I was very involved in the initial part of that process, and I think that’s the part that a lot of us are sort of frustrated with, that we have to do that part. But the future self-investment, right? That’s what you’re now reaping the rewards of, like okay, I made that investment in time, and all the thoughts and the energy that I had to put into it. But now, you can have an assistant go out on leave and your business is going to operate without having to dive back into that role, that’s beautiful, right?

Bernadette Doyle: Because there was a thing that I became aware of when I was in your program, was a thought that had stopped me up until I was in your program. And it’s the thought, it’s just quicker if I do it myself. And that is true in that one moment, it’s quicker if you do it yourself, but until you actually go and create the documentation, so that you can hand that over to someone else, it’s not quicker, because you’re stuck in that over and over. And yeah, in your program was when I became really aware of that thought, and how I’d been holding me back.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, and you know what? That is a sneaky thought, like I even— it’ll even pop into my head, “Oh, I’ll just do it, it’ll be easier if I do it myself, I’ll just take care of it, it’ll be easier if I do it myself.” And that’s just such a lie, because then the next time, guess who’s going to do? Me, right? So absolutely, I think that’s powerful.

And those are one of those sneaky ones. I know one of the other thoughts that I’ve heard clients say, I had one client specifically, she would say it all the time, she would say, you would think that someone who is 50 years old would know how to do this, this and this. You would think that someone who’s making a hundred thousand dollars a year would understand how to do this, this, and this, and this. And that little thought, you could think, like I said, no, they don’t think. You think that, but they don’t think that, but it prevented her from having a conversation she needed to have from explaining what she really wanted done, right? These little tiny things that that we think, they get in the way.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, I remember another great phrase that you had was like, “If you want someone to read your mind, you have to write it down.”

Kris Plachy: Yes, and I have to give full credit to Brie Castillo for that one, because she said it. We were on a podcast, she’s like, “Oh my God, I’m brilliant.” She said it, and she was so impressed with herself, so I will give her all the props for that, but she’s damn right, that’s the only way. And the pain of taking an idea… I’m going through this right now, because I have asked somebody to write and create like a landing page for the Sage CEO program, which is like my next offer, my next program.

And she said, “Okay, great, just get the copy over to us.” So, I was like, “Okay, right?” Because I have to act… if she’s like give it to us in the order that you want it, and like, “Oh no, no, can I just plug it in somewhere? And someone knows what that needs to say?” It’s so hard. Listen to me, I’m having a tantrum. But that’s the same as explaining to someone how to onboard a new client.

Bernadette Doyle: Well, I think it’s because for a lot of the things that we’re documenting, we’ve already got unconscious competence on. You don’t have to think about it. So, actually it is hard to slow down and go, what is step one? What is step two? I don’t actually know, and I realize there’s a micro step of doing step one and step two. And it was like a mental workout, and I definitely used to get tired, because it was just working muscles in my brain, obviously, I don’t think the brain has muscles. But it was working part of my brain that I wasn’t used to working. And so, it could feel tiring, but it’s so worth it. It’s like working out at the gym, you’ve got to go, “Yeah, my muscles are a bit sore, but you know what? Just keep showing up and doing the work.”

Kris Plachy: It does payoff, that hot yoga, that gym thing, yeah. Okay. And so, how do you work with your clients? Do you work with them in a group? Do you do private coaching? What do you do?

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, so my main program is a six-week program, its prerecorded content. And then I do life coaching with them in a group twice a week. I do it that way because I’m like, look, if I want to transmit information, then that totally can be done and prerecorded. But when we get together now, we’re doing transformation, and this is like, so you bring what’s coming up for you, what’s getting in the way of you implementing this, and then I coach them through it.

Kris Plachy: Okay, cool. And so the goal that when they’re done working with you is…?

Bernadette Doyle: So, my main program right now is called Simple 100K. And I teach them a very simple method for getting clients organically through a Facebook group. So, at the end of that six week program, they know what the protocol is, they know what they need to do, and I’ve actually taught them all of the steps, so they’re ready to just go and apply it.

Kris Plachy: That’s awesome, okay, great. So, what’s next for you? What’s your next kind of— do you have a thing, like a big goal that you’re planning on?

Bernadette Doyle: I’ve been talking about it for years, but I’m definitely getting a book published this year. I will self-publish it, but I have…This is why I was nervous; I reckon like somehow, I knew I was going to make this announcement.

Kris Plachy: Ah! Well, here we are, let’s do it.

Bernadette Doyle: So, I’m making that commitment, yeah.

Kris Plachy: What’s the book going to be about?

Bernadette Doyle: Well, I’d like to do it around the sort of simple 100K theme, because I think there’s so much drama about all the things that people think they need to do to reach that income goal in that business. And I just want to show people, no, it’s so much simpler than you think, and you’ve just got to focus on these things and this is what makes that result inevitable.

Kris Plachy: Good. Well, congratulations in advance.

Bernadette Doyle: Thank you.

Kris Plachy: It’s so exciting. I’d like to write a book this year, too.

Bernadette Doyle: I’m surprised you haven’t written one, I would have thought [inaudible 34:42].

Kris Plachy: Oh, I have. I wrote one, like real one, like 150 plus pages, and then I have written two others that are smaller, they’re like guides, for lack of a better word, so they’re like 40 pages, they’re not expensive. And I did just write another one last week, that’s going to be another kind of how-to guide that somehow, right now, I think it’s just called “The Survival Guide for The Depleted Female Entrepreneur.”

Bernadette Doyle: Wow!

Kris Plachy: Because we have a lot of us out there. There’s a lot of people who are tired.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah.

Kris Plachy: And when you don’t know how to lead and manage a team, you’re even more tired.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, because when you’re tired, the people that are there actually to support you, it does feel like support, it feels like a burden.

Kris Plachy: Yes, exactly, and then you treat them like they’re a burden, which perpetuates a cycle that isn’t really healthy for everybody. But it’s understandable, you know, we were talking about you, right? Like you finally got domestic help, and not only is that a process of posting a job and hiring someone, but it’s also the work you had to do to believe you were worth it, to not feel guilty about it, right? There’s so much else that goes into that for women. And so, I watched so many women who they’re running seven figure businesses and these huge family lives, and feeling overwhelmed by it, but not asking for support and help.

And so, I really think we’re at a point just in the world that we need to figure out how, if we’re going to step into this space, and claim more space in the leadership world, which I think we should be. How do we also take care of ourselves, and honor ourselves better? So…

Bernadette Doyle: Well, with that support, I had a story, I’m unsupported, and I have to consciously work on that belief. And what I did was, I looked for evidence every single day of how life was supporting me. So, I lie on my bed and go, “Okay, I’m supported by the mattress, and the mattress is supported by the bed frame, and the bed frame is supported by the… I really did it. I got really good at it, and I started doing things like, when I go to the airport to get on a plane, I’ve asked, look how supported I am? How many people have to show up to work today so that I could get to take this flight? And when you start thinking like that, it is mind blowing…

Kris Plachy: That’s lovely. What a lovely frame of mind? You have this beautiful perspective. I love it, I love it.

Bernadette Doyle: The people that made the meal that they put on the plane, the people that loaded them, the little cans, you know the little drinks that…

Kris Plachy: Your baggage getting there with clothes in it, all of it.

Bernadette Doyle: I think I’ve never actually calculated what number, I’d like to figure that out.

Kris Plachy: No, I think that’s really well said, because yeah, that thought, I’m not supported, is the poisonous too, right? It’s not healthy to let that simmer around in your brain. Okay, so as we wrap up, I’m curious if there’s, what’s the last bit of wisdom you have for our listeners today?

Bernadette Doyle: My last bit of wisdom is that they should do your program. And I’m glad you gave me the opportunity to say this, because I’ve been meaning to make a video for you, and I like to put it off. But what I loved about being in your program is, I think there’s different levels of teachers. So, I think there are some teachers that have really great information, and they can share this information with you, and that’s cool, it’s like you’re going to get a tactic, you’re going to learn something.

And then there were teachers who facilitate transformation. So, those are normally the ones that will dive in with you, and coach you, and show you your brain, and actually really help you implement. And then I think there’s another level of teacher, who is like facilitating transformation through their presence, and through their consciousness. And like me, you are in that category of teacher, like that presence right from the start of your program, it really did settle down my nervous system, and I had so many beliefs about, this was an impossible area for me. I had so many stories.

But it just meant that from the start I trusted you, and I trusted you enough to really give my all to the program. And I did show up to every call, and do the home work and everything. But it was because of who you are and who you were being as the leader of that program.

Kris Plachy: Wow! I’m incredibly touched, I’m a little speechless. I didn’t pay Bernadette to say that, anybody who’s listening, and I’m very grateful for that, because I seek the same. So, thank you, because I seek the same. I think there’s a level of visibility, and we want to be seen, we want to be seen for all of it. I love the word that you said, this whole other level of consciousness, that we can hold this energy for one another, and see each other in a way that most people aren’t seeing. And a lot of people aren’t comfortable being seen.

But I have an incredibly high bar for myself and who I give my attention and energy to, which is why I’m pretty discerning about who we invite into our program. And that’s also been really fun to watch who comes in and experienced their growth as well. So, thank you for that, and that just really sort of validates what I guess I want to create, so thank you.

Bernadette Doyle: Thank you!

Kris Plachy: Yeah, you’re wonderful. Okay, well, if everybody listening needs to learn how to sell and get more clients, where can we tell them to go?

Bernadette Doyle: Come on over to Bernadettedoyle.com, and I have a free PDF, which is about helping you to get clients, and that kicks off connection with me, and will lead to invite since my Facebook group and lots of other masterclasses and fun things. So…

Kris Plachy: All the good things. Well, listen to me, Bernadette is the real deal you guys, there’s a lot of traffic and a lot of noise out there. I actually had an experience just the other day. I fell into a funnel that I was like, “Ooh! Ooh!” I got all excited, such good copy, such a great experience, and then terrible delivery. And I find myself incredibly disappointed, rightly? I was going to write a meme that just says, could you please be as good as your copy says you are? Because you can’t just be good at copy, you have to be good at delivery, right?

And I think when you talked about earlier, like, people are becoming more thoughtful, and they can sense when the energy’s off, or when a business is unhealthy. I think we’re all getting that way even now, like I get so frustrated when I think I found something that could be useful, only to find it was just somebody who really took a really good copy writing class, and didn’t really learn how to step into the game of delivery. So, all this to say that Bernadette’s the real deal, you guys, and she offers incredible value. And it’s just lovely also and we can’t wait for your book.

Bernadette Doyle: Thank you, Kris. I have [inaudible 42:27] now, I’ve announced it here.

Kris Plachy: Yeah, I think we have about 9 months left, so…

Bernadette Doyle: Well, exactly, it’s like I said, oh, I’m going to have a baby, now I need to go and get pregnant.

Kris Plachy: There we go. Well, getting pregnant these days is as easy as picking up one of these, and getting a cup of coffee or tea since you’re in Northern Ireland, and sitting down and put some ear buds in and crank it out. Because you know it’s there with you, right?

Bernadette Doyle: Oh, for sure, yeah.

Kris Plachy: I will share this one other thing with you. I know it’s been long, but we were in Hawaii, and one of my clients, Tina Sue…Was she in that with you? I can’t recall it. No, you were right before her. But she came to Hawaii, and she wanted to start a program, and she said, “Well, I’m going to have to clear my calendar and have to work on it.”

I’m like, “No, you’re not. You’re going to wake up tomorrow morning, and you’re going to write out all 16 modules, and you’ll be done.” She’s like, “I am not even…’ And so, sure enough, by 10:30 or 11, the next day in Hawaii, she’s like, “Oh my God, I totally did it.” I’m like, “Yes, you did, because it’s in you.” When you birth a book that’s in you, it’s really just creating the space for it to come out, it’s not…If you overthink it, you complicate it.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, thank you, that’s great advice.

Kris Plachy: Yeah. This was the advice Brooke actually gave me when I wrote my first book, and it was great advice, write it to that one client that you know you want to hear it. Whoever is that person that you’re like, no, this is for Jenna, or mark, or whoever that you know exactly, and then you speak directly to the client. It’s really that.

Bernadette +Doyle: That’s brilliant, thank you.

Kris Plachy: Of course. Well, thank you for being here, it’s lovely to see you. I appreciate you, and I’ll see you soon.

Bernadette Doyle: Yeah, take care.

Download Transcript

Looking for Lead Your Team episodes? Click here.

Site By Alchemy + Aim
Photography Danielle Cohen