If you’re like so many business owners, you absolutely love what you’re doing, what you’re bringing to the world… But managing people? Not so much. In fact, if you could do everything without needing to lead others, you would. Unfortunately, you have to have help. You simply can’t do it all alone.
Regardless of where you feel you land on the capability scale, let me assure you: You can develop the necessary skills to lead well the gorgeous business you’ve been kissed with. But before you can make leading people easy, you must first believe it’s even possible. Let’s talk about it.
“The stillness of your own mind, without the clutter of the story, is where ease exists.” – Kris Plachy
What You’ll Learn
- Creation of meaning
- Power of labels
- We get to choose
- Facts are just facts
- First decide
- Where ease exists
Contact Info and Recommended Resources
My How to CEO program begins February 16, 2023 – The updated version of How to CEO includes the opportunity for management training for anyone on your team, while you go through the program.The CEO Boutique: Digital Clinics offered by Kris Plachy: Essential Practices for Women Who Lead. Shop what’s available, including Kickstart Team Ops, Team Audits, Dealing with Difficult People and much more!
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Connect with Kris Plachy
The All-In Coterie for 2023: Helping women identify what they really want to achieve and really getting over their own hangups about it.
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Is it possible to make leading your business easy? Is it possible for you to believe that’s true? Why don’t you tune in this time and let’s see what we can figure out? Here we go.
So, hey. Hey. How are you? I’m Kris Plachy. Welcome to Leadership is Feminine Podcast. If this is your first time here, I’m glad you’re here, and if you’re a longtime listener, thanks for staying. And if you are a longtime listener and you haven’t written a review, can I invite you to do that? Could you just go to the review section on iTunes, and super easy just click, of course, five stars and write a couple sentences. I would be forever grateful for that. It really means a lot.
Sometimes it does feel a little bit like I’m talking into the ethers. Every now and then I get these emails from you guys that tell me that you love it and that you’ve been binging it. And I love all of that, and your testimonials and your reviews really make a difference to help other women like you find this podcast.
So this week I wanna talk to you about how to know if you’re doing it right. This podcast, I think, is gonna actually pop in your inbox right around when we start How to CEO. Our latest cohort starts on the 16th of February. And it’s one of the most common things I hear from people is, “What do I do if I’m just bad at it? How do I make this easier than it is? Is it ever possible? Am I ever gonna be able to like being a business owner? I wanted to do this thing in the world, but I didn’t really wanna have to manage people. So how do I just make this easy? And do you believe that it can be easy?
These are all sort of these questions. Interestingly, I saw a video today, it was Salma Hayek, and she was talking about how if she was cursing you out in her language, which I think is Spanish, but she might be Portuguese, so I don’t wanna misspeak. She wasn’t speaking in her native language. She was just saying, if I was cussing you out in my language, you wouldn’t be affected by what I said because you don’t understand what my words mean. You might think I look silly. You might think I look really animated. You could tell that my voice was raised, but you wouldn’t understand the meaning of the words that I was using. And so they wouldn’t have an impact on you.
And that was such a powerful, simple example of how the way we label things creates meaning. And the labels that we identify in our lives come from our deeply experienced life path. So we’ve all had our own experiences if we’ve all tracked our own road. And as a result, we have ways of looking at things and ways of interpreting things and ways of experiencing the world that are unique to everyone else. And even where we can find common ground, we’re still all our own unique flavor.
And that unique flavor then interprets what’s happening around us and puts a label on it, and that label to us is the truth, right? But it may not be the same label that someone else assigns something. So the name of this podcast is How to Make Leading People Easy. Even within that, easy is a label. Like, what is easy to you? Easy might be, “Oh, I only ran five miles today cuz normally I run 15.” to me, easy might be, “I got to walk a block instead of running four.” Like, it’s all relative.
What matters is how you experience the world that you are in. And we get to choose.We really do get to choose, and I say this to you on the heels of a very dear friend passing away suddenly in an accident. I say this to you knowing so many people suffering and dealing with incredible challenges in the world. Also saying to you that if you have a healthy body and a healthy mind and a healthy spirit, you’re good, mama. There isn’t anything you can’t work through.
So searching for the easy makes you see what’s hard. And what if we just decided whatever we are experiencing in our business is first and foremost, just the facts. John quit today. Lucy yelled in a meeting. Joyce made 12 mistakes. Ronnie missed a deadline. I’ve interviewed 12 people and haven’t found someone I wanna hire yet. I’ve hired 12 people in the last six months, and only two have worked out. Let’s just start with what’s true. And then you are the one who has to decide that you’re willing to notice how you’re labeling your circumstance.
So much of what I do with my clients is in this space. It’s funny cuz I was just in Tulum with a few of my Sage clients and oh my gosh, by the way, listen to me. Tulum. Yes, Tulum Retreat, Tulum Incoming, uh, we’re doing that again. That was so fun.
But we were in Tulum and we were talking about coaching. We’re having great conversations as we do, because, Sages, right? Smart people. And we were talking about how not everything can just be solved with your thoughts. Like, your thoughts get in the way and they junk it up.
If you’re not aware of how what you’re thinking is influencing how you’re feeling, and the actions you’re taking, and ultimately, how that influences your outcomes, you have a problem anyway. But sometimes we actually need advice. Sometimes we need an advisor, and this was one of my clients was saying that to me.
She said that was one of the things she appreciated about our work together was, yes, I can help you see what the truth is in every moment. But I also, I’m gonna give you four or five ideas to try. You get to pick the one you want. I’m never gonna tell you what you absolutely have to do a hundred percent, but I’m gonna certainly give you some recommendations.
So that’s why I love what we do because I do think we help it be easier for you. Cuz you’re out there right now, my love on an island, especially when it comes to team stuff. If your experience is anything like mine, even if you’re in entrepreneur groups with other women, they’ll teach you how to make money and they’ll teach you how to market and they’ll teach you how to do this and they’ll teach you how to network and they’ll teach you how to and sell and do all this.
But then y’all sit at lunch and complain about your teammate, your team members. It’s like the one thing that everybody shares that we all just agree, “Yeah, we just complain about that part”. And I disagree. I think all the parts that are challenging when it comes to team are completely solvable. But you have to decide that you’re willing to say, “Oh, running a business that’s actually gonna be easier than I thought it was. I’m just gonna go all in on believing that.”
And the first place we start is just with facts. It’s the biggest hack there is. It’s the biggest untapped hack. Facts. Facts don’t have pain. Facts don’t have drama. Facts don’t have emotion. They’re just facts. Ronnie made a mistake. Joyce is late. John didn’t turn in the assignment. Facts.
What you make that mean determines your relationship with it, and that is where your effort and work needs to be. Because if you truly wanna stand in a position of leadership and feel like you have that strength of agency, of confidence in yourself, you can’t get flustered by the story that your little brain wants to tell to make you feel better. You have to lead through it. And you’re always gonna find solid ground on what really happened.
So how do we make leading people easy? First, we have to decide that it isn’t hard. That’s funny. I say that because I teach this stuff for a living and I still have days where I’m like, “Really?” But in all seriousness, I think it’s delightful.
I have a very capable group of people that I work with every day. I’m amazing. They’re amazing. We all love each other. We’re healthy, we’re happy people. We’re mostly of sound mind. Sometimes I might lose mine, but for the most part, what a gift it is to have the space curated for us to do this great work. What a gift. We forget cuz we get annoyed, we get frustrated, we get overwhelmed by how the world should be and we don’t pay attention to how it is. And as soon as we then decide, okay, “So maybe for the most part, leading this business is actually kind of fun and easy.” And then there’s stuff that happens that’s a little bit tougher for me to work through.
But where I can always find solid ground is in the facts. Do you feel how that just takes it off for you? Like, oh, okay. Until you do that, if you argue with reality every day that people should be different than they are, they should have done something that they didn’t, they should stop doing things that they’re doing, as soon as you stop arguing with what you think should or shouldn’t have happened, you will be able to focus on what actually happened, what’s actually sitting in front of you, and then that you can address.
Because I have it on good authority that every single person listening to this podcast, when she’s in the moment of needing to make a decision, of needing to make a call, if she’s clearly just in that moment, she will know. But as soon as she gets in the story of why she shouldn’t have to deal with this, or why this is wasting her time, or why she’s never gonna get away from this, or why she’s never gonna be able to find anybody who can help her, and she’s always gonna be the one who has to make all the decisions, is if you always end up there, you can’t find your own clarity.
So to me, this is the biggest hack. Like, you get this, it will change your life. I just had a client say to me just last week, cuz she was telling me – she’ll smile when she hears this – she was saying she has a hard time sometimes when people ask, “Well, what is it that you’ve done with Kris? You’re much better. You’re so much happier. So much content.” You’re la la la, right? She’s like, it’s just hard for me to pinpoint.
She said, “It’s just that I know that there isn’t anything that’s gonna come up I can’t handle. I didn’t know that two years ago.” And the best part of that for me, with the clients that I’ve worked with now for quite some time, is they haven’t gone out and bought more knowledge. What they did is they invested in understanding themselves, because they’re already brilliant. And the more they understood themselves, the more they understand their own mind, the more they trust their own decisions and their own wisdom, and then they’re building a business that reflects them, not what everybody else tells them it should be.
So I guess that would be my last thing to bring it home is that what makes leading a company hard is when you believe other people know better than you do. That somehow there’s an answer out there waiting for you that you haven’t found yet, and once you find it, it’ll be easy. And I really want you to hear me say that that’s a lie. That’s a lie that a lot of people sell you to get you to buy what they sell. The real truth is, stillness of your own mind without the clutter of the story, is where ease exists.
You touch that once or twice and then you always know it’s there. It doesn’t mean you always remember, speaking from personal experience. It might take me a day or two to catch my breath sometimes, but what’s good is I always can. And that’s what I would want for you.
So how do you make leading people easy? First, you just sort of decide that maybe it’s not as hard. Second, you look at what is it that you make things mean that makes them feel harder than they need to be. Third, you look at how you label things. Fourth, you look at that ‘just easy’ is a label. And by definition, if you’re trying to create easy, that means that you are telling yourself things are hard.
What do you say is hard every day that you’re trying to avoid? What if it wasn’t hard? What if it was just the facts?, Jack? The ease exists in evidence. It doesn’t exist in a label, and that other people don’t have the answers. The answers are within you. Sometimes you just need a guide to help you discover that. So I hope that gives you a little something to think about, because I watch so many women, a lot of the women, when I first meet them, I would say that they’ve been beaten up by their business, they’re haggard. It’s not because of what’s happening in the company.
It’s because of what you tell yourself about it. And as soon as you get the reality of that, as soon as you really allow that to be true for you, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Because it’s from there then that you can make new choices. You can identify new solutions. But if the story continues to be one of hard and slog and overwhelm and disenchantment and resentment, you can’t find new ideas, you can’t find new solutions. Because you’re not even really focused on the actual thing, the actual facts, you’re only focused on what you’re making it all mean.
So give that a little think. As always. I love to know what you think. So you can always email email@example.com. And if you’re so inclined, I would love your review on this podcast. Thanks for tuning in today.
Hey, are you ready to go all in on you as the gorgeous, powerful woman and CEO that you are? Whether you’re running a company that’s at $400,000 a year or $4 million a year, or more, I know that there are practices that you probably need to advance in order to get the results that you need in your business. And those practices that we tend to ignore the most are the practices that have to deal with the people.
So if you’re ready to step up and really claim the voice that you have as a woman who leads, and really lead that team as a feminine CEO, I would love to work with you in our program. Go to krisplachy.com/ceo and learn all about what’s going on with us right now and get started with us this year.
This is the year, love. Let’s do it.Download Transcript