Ep #50: You as a Boss: Mindfulness in Managing
This month the podcast is about you as a boss, and today in particular is about your point of view. Your point of view influences the results you get from those you manage as well as how you invest in people. Here’s the importance of mindfulness in managing.
What you’ll find in this episode:
- My hypothesis on how to help leaders.
- One of the first core areas of understanding I want everyone to have.
- What happens when you don’t have a mechanism of awareness to supervise your own point of view.
- Where your point of view and values come from.
- “Common sense is what YOU think is common.”
- Your mind is your most powerful, yet least utilized, performance tool.
Featured on the Show and Other Notes:
- Ali Brown’s Glambition Radio podcast.
- Team management, team leadership strategy days are coming this year in select locations where you can schedule a day to spend with me. If that interests you, email firstname.lastname@example.org, and say, “I would like to be on the short list for a strategy day.” Please put in the body of your email where in the world you are.
- The very first book I wrote was called Change Your Think – An Unexpected Way to Think About Managing People.
- Please write a review if you like this podcast. Go to your podcast app and find the reviews section. Thank you!
- Coming in the next couple of weeks – I’m releasing a video compilation that focuses on getting results through others. Subscribers to my email list will receive these. Join here!
- The Founder’s Lab is my private coaching program for female founders who are generating more than 7-figures in their revenue. It’s a complement to the Entrepreneurial Management program and is a part of the work you get as a client of mine. This isn’t a “class.” I don’t give you copious tons of things to do. I give you the ones that matter and then we keep talking about them. We apply them. That’s why it’s called the Founder’s Lab.
- Go here to book an appointment with me.
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Hello. Hello. Welcome to the podcast. I’m super excited. So, today I have so much fun stuff happening that I feel a little bit overwhelmed by how much I want to talk about today. So first of all, it’s February, which is fun, already the second month in the year 2020. And I am putting together some really cool processes in my company and the way that I want to support my clients. And so one of the things that you’re going to find now as you listen to me is I’m going to be doing every month sort of a theme, for lack of a better word, where I focus on a key relevant topic for you as my client and women who listen. And what else will be happening behind the scenes for my clients who are in the Founder’s Lab is we will actually be doing these podcasts together.
So, some of the work is all available to all of you, which is awesome and that is always my goal. But then for my clients who are working with me weekly and the Founder’s Lab, we will be doing the deep dive of really applying what I’m teaching here in that coaching group. So I want to make sure you know that because I know some of you out there are like the most amazing self-starters everywhere on the planet and I love that for you. But I also know there’s some of you who are probably a little bit more like me who benefit from accountability feedback, a place to go to ask questions where you can really try things on. And so of course that’s why I have the Founder’s Lab is to put you in with other women who are working through the same unique challenges that you face as a woman who’s learning how to lead her team, but also still get all of the other content and all the other tools that I provide my clients through the Founder’s Lab.
So I just want you to know that’s happening. And so if that’s something you’re interested in, I really want to direct you to krisplachy.com/join. You can read about the Founder’s Lab and there’s an opportunity there for you to schedule time to meet with me to talk about what I do. I meet with everyone, and I’d like to know who you are, so that is out there.
Second thing is I had a strategy day last week with Ali Brown who has a wonderful podcast, Glambition Radio, which I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about. She’s just so fabulous and I have been a big fan of hers and learned a lot from her over the years, so I have this fantastic day with her one-on-one. You guys, if you haven’t done that, by the way, I know a lot of people do masterminds and want to get together with other people to brainstorm ways to generate more revenue in their business and come up with business ideas. I think that’s all really fabulous. There’s a time and place for everything, but honestly having a day where somebody else who’s wicked smart can sit and think about your business with you. Oh, like, oh, it’s so fun.
So I certainly had like, I just had a great time with her. She’s brilliant. She has a lovely and smart and wise, brilliant brain, a business brain, and she’s been doing this a very long time. And so that was evident in our conversations and it was just great to spend that time on me. So, I’m certainly extending that invitation to you if you haven’t done something like that. It’s such a great exercise. Which out of that I should tell you, was, I decided I’m going to start to do team management, team leadership strategy days this year. I’m going to make a few of them available. There’ll be in select locations where you can actually schedule a day and spend with me.
Now I won’t be spending the day with you going over your business marketing plan or how you want to figure out your revenue streams and what have you, or your branding. I want to spend a day with you. Dissecting your team, how you manage your team, what the current challenges are with the team. Do you need to figure out a better strategy for attracting the right talent? Have you held onto people too long? Do you not know how to manage performance? Are you not sure how to get the most out of them? How to motivate them? That’s what we’re going to spend the day doing, and I can’t even tell you how excited I am about the opportunity of spending a day with a few of you.
So if that appeals to you, I’m not going to do very many of them, so I’m inviting you if that, if you’re right now listening to that like, “What? That sounds amazing.” I just want you to email email@example.com, and say, “I would like to be on the short list for a strategy day.” That’s all you have to do. Just go to firstname.lastname@example.org, and say, “I want to be on the short list for a strategy day.” And put in the body of your email where in the world you are. That would be very helpful. I will be planning these strategically based on my own schedule and where you are and the people are that are interested in doing this work. So again, send an email to hello@krisplachy if you’re interested in spending a team management and leadership strategy day with me where we do all of this incredible work looking at the inside of your business, your team, the mechanics of your team, who you are as a leader, how do you maximize performance, all of those amazing things. So email@example.com.
The other thing, I’ve one other little housekeeping thing as I get into sort of what I feel like is a little bit of a transition here. Man, you guys, the podcast reviews are so fun. I read them and just this past week just got a few more, which I just this last one from [Ahvinguilder 00:00:06:26], who I know who you are because you’re in my program. I just had to say I want to read you what you guys, what she wrote because first of all, I know you’re already listening so you know this, but if you haven’t decided to work with me yet, I just want you to hear what she has to say.
“From the first time I heard Kris’s firm, relevant words framed with the best giggle ever, I was hooked.” I mean, come on. How cute is that? “I felt like she was speaking to me directly. She drops business and life altering pearls of wisdom and tactical tips while reminding us that, yes, this is serious, but it’s best not to take ourselves too seriously. After binge listening, I applied for the Founder’s Lab and I’m so proud of the progress I’ve made. I’m a better leader, a better mom and a better business owner, and the journey has just begun. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Kris.”
Thank you. That’s such a wonderful testament to what we do here, and I’m just, every time I have the opportunity to work with women like you and all of you that are listening, it’s just, it does make me giddy. And I do think I have a goofy giggle. I hear that from most of you, especially when you meet with me live. People are like, “I love your laugh.” And then I laugh with them and they think it’s funny that it sounds the same, which I think is funny.
Okay. So, in the month of February, we’re going to be talking about you as a boss. I’m using that word on purpose because I think it triggers some of you. I don’t think you like to think of yourself as a boss, but you know what? You are. You’re a boss. And you’re a manager, and you’re a leader, and you’re a visionary, and you’re a conceptualizer, and you’re a business owner, and you’re a founder, and you’re an entrepreneur. You’re all of it. But we’re going to talk about you as a boss. And today I want to talk about you as a boss and your point of view. Your brain.
Now, you know that I talk to you about your brain a lot and how that influences who you are as a leader, but I’m going to take this way back for a minute for you and I want you to really, really get why this is so important, at least from my perspective.
So many years ago, 2005, 2006, I took a workshop that was called If I’m So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight? that was run by Brooke Castillo. You all have heard me talk about Brooke. She is my mentor. She is my friend, and to this day, every time I talk to her, I just have pearls of wisdom. So I took this workshop with her and it was all about losing weight. And I took everything she taught me in that workshop and I applied it to the team I was managing at the time. And I think I’ve talked about this in my past. That really then became the pathway for me to create an entire performance coaching team within the large organization that I worked for.
But what occurred to me when I took her course, she at the time taught us limited beliefs, which has since really morphed into the thought model, the self-coaching model that is the heart of so much of the work that we all do and that she teaches. But what I realized when I went back and I started, I had about nine managers at the time who reported to me, is I realized the conversations that I was having with them were all about the thoughts that they had, the perspective they had about their employees. And in most cases, they weren’t healthy. They weren’t good. “My employee is so lazy.” “My employee is so frustrating.” “My employee doesn’t care.” “This is driving me crazy.” “Why can’t they get things done?” “This is so frustrating.”
And I had, once I had this, this new lens on, right, it was like I’d put on new glasses and I saw color that I hadn’t seen before, I realized how much of how our point of view completely influences and directs not just the experience we have as people who manage people, but the results we get from those relationships and how we invest in people. Right? Because what I realized is, for example, I had a manager who had an employee, and he thought this employee was just so lazy. And then I realized how lazy he was being as a manager with her as a result.
And for those of you who know about the thought model, what we know is that the way that we think about the world, the way that we think about people in the world, the way that we think, the way that we define our experiences, translates into the results that we get. Which is why initially I felt completely compelled to write a book, which the very first book I wrote is called Change Your Think, and the subtitle is An Unexpected Way think About Managing People. And it’s all about how our thoughts guide the results that we get in our relationships with our people and our results ultimately, right? That’s how that all comes together.
So, as I developed my theories then, this leadership lens point of view became the anchor to really my hypothesis for how to help leaders. And I knew that if I helped a leader see themselves and understand their own point of view, they could change anything in their team. But it always had to start with the leader because I also knew the opposite to be true. If I worked with a leader who was unwilling to develop that level of awareness and to see their own point of view first, I knew there would be no changing the results that they got in their team.
So therefore, what was born out of that is the leadership point of view or the leadership lens. And it actually is one of the core first areas of understanding I want everybody to have, and I want to take this one step further. So I want you to think about that you as a human have had all of your own unique life experiences. Even if you are the child of, you know, you have four siblings or you have 12 siblings, if you are raised in a family, even though you are one of one or one of many, you still have different unique experiences. And all of those experiences are through our relationships, our education, our environment, our geographical location, friendships, traumatic events, religion, culture, all of this external… these external influences are systematically designing our point of view, not just of the world but of ourselves. Right? So all this external, outside stuff happens that we don’t have any control over. And when we’re young, we internalize those experiences, those external circumstances, and we use them very unconsciously to define and design our view of the world and ourselves in it.
But most of us, even once we are out of adolescence and into adulthood, never question that point of view of the world or ourselves in it. We just take what we’ve learned and believe that not only have we experienced the truth, but that we are right. But we’re not. There’s no way that my truth is the only truth and my truth is the only way that it’s right because there’s so many more billions of people who’ve had completely different life experiences and have arrived at completely different truths and completely different versions of what is right.
And so where this becomes, I believe, paramount is when you take on the responsibility of leading other people. Because if you don’t have a mechanism of awareness where you can supervise your own point of view, then you’re constantly holding people to what you think is the truth and what you think is right. And that’s why we have so many clashes, because other people think they know the truth and they know what’s right because, of course, they’ve had all their own unique experiences.
So if I understand that what I believe is my brain telling me what to believe versus my truth just telling me what’s right, I can be so much more effective in relationships because then I can actually experience you and see what you’re thinking. And I can appreciate that we’re both just having a point of view instead of arguing about what’s right.
So what I like to challenge my clients to do is to learn how to gain awareness of their own thinking, their own point of view, their own core beliefs, their values. Where does all of that come from? It comes from the unsupervised processing of external experiences that you ultimately came to believe was true. That’s all it is.
Now, I’m not suggesting you should forget everything you learned. Of course not. But I am suggesting being willing to learn something new, to see another way, and to be open to the results that you have currently gotten through the way that you think that they could be different. And that means especially when it comes to managing.
Here’s what happens. People come to me. I talked to four or five people last week. All of them are losing their minds because people aren’t doing what they want. That’s why I did the delegation worksheet and the delegation checklist podcast last week because everybody’s going crazy because people don’t do what they want them to do.
But the reason, here’s what, it’s so fascinating, right? Because you ask someone who’s losing their mind because people don’t do what you want them to do, and then I might ask, “Well, okay, so what kind of feedback have you given them?” And the answer is, “I haven’t given them feedback. They should just know. It’s just common sense.” Here’s the thing. No it isn’t. Common sense is what you think is common. If you noticed, it’s not common for everyone else. Right? So that thought, they should just know. That’s a thought. They should just know. People should just know. That’s a thought. And when you think that thought, it makes you feel angry, annoyed. And when you feel that way, you shut down. And when you shut down, you are not teaching someone, which of course means you think you should know, right? You don’t. You don’t know what goes on in other people’s brains.
So understanding that these thoughts that we think are first of all, that. That your point of view is lovely and brilliant. It’s gotten you a long way, but it also has its blind spots. And so what I have prepared for my clients is a robust list of reflective questions to consider.
Did I know up until this point you’ve believed were just the truth? Why do you believe people do or don’t work hard in their jobs? What does it mean to be accountable for your performance? What is a good work ethic? Why do you think people do or don’t like working for you? What’s your experience with conflict? What do you avoid? What is the story you tell about how you run your business as a manager, as a leader, as a business owner, as a founder? How do you talk about your business? What are the most common thoughts you think about your business?
We know that what we think about comes about. We know that what we give our attention to grows. Like these are all quotes you see on Instagram, right? How aware are you of the thoughts that you think about your business on a daily basis? What do you think about yourself as a manager, as a team leader? What do you think about how good you are or how bad you are? All of this is influencing the results you’re getting and how you manage your people. So understanding the story you tell about frankly everything, but in this case, even the challenges you’re facing, what are the reasons you give? Who are you blaming? What do you not know that you think you should know?
Your mind is your most powerful yet least utilized performance tool. I know this. It is unsupervised a lot of the time. It is misdirected most of the time. It’s why we don’t get the things that we say we want. It’s not because of our circumstances; it’s because of what we think about. And if you’re going to assume the responsibility for other people’s livelihoods now, as a woman who’s running a business and hiring employees, I believe it’s incumbent upon you. This is a responsibility that you have to understand your point of view and understand how what you think about is affecting others, how you interact with them, the relationships you have with them, and the results you’re getting in your company.
So hopefully I’ve given you a lot to chew on. And like I said, if you want to take this and wrap this into your business, we should totally connect. Have a wonderful, wonderful day.